Wednesday, August 17, 2016

delayed by life, but here!

sprinkle cake from zoe's dohl

ok.  hi.  so this post is super late, even by my standards.  stranger things, the olympics, back to work, and a bazillion other things happened, but I'M HERE!  please keep reading. <3 <3 <3

zoe's 14 months now!  WHAT?  my weekly posts became monthly posts, now whenever i have time posts.  :)))))))))))))

ten things:

1.  she walks.  actually, runs.  she's so amazing, i can't get over how agile she is.
2.  she talks.  like a lot.  i started writing down all of the words she says, here are the weirdest, cutest things she says:
           "hot dog" (from mickey mouse club house, not bc that's what i feed her...all the time.)
           "ham-mi ha-bi" (baby versions of grandma and grandpa in krn.)
           "mimi" "minnie" "mina mina mina" "mickey" (all used for either minnie or mickey)
           "peeeeeesh" (fish)
           "ubbuh!!!!" (when she yells at my mom to give her a piggyback ride)
           "night night" (when she's ready to sleep.  woohooooo!!!!!)
3.  i went back to work last week and its a new kind of difficult from when i went back to work after maternity leave.  loved watching her grow these past two months.  but interacting with adults during the day is also refreshing.  my mom, who's still watching her, called me today while i was in a meeting and asked when i was coming home in the same tone i called jake every day of the summer.  exhausted, kinda crazy, and zoe yelling/crying/screaming in the background.  she's a rockstar.  zoezoe is so lucky.
4.  the olympics!!!  love the olympics, but after about 10 straight days, i didn't want to say it aloud bc i kind of felt like i was cheating on the olympics, but i was ready to watch something else (part time), so naturally, i started watching FNL again (insert jake's eyeroll).  anywayyyyy in thinking about the olympics, zoe has big feet, big hands, long legs, and curly hair (i don't think this will help in any sport)...i wonder if she'll be an olympian one day...
5.  so some people may know this, but i kinda, sorta shop (shopped) a lot.  some may say excessively.  but ever since i had zoe, actually, since i was pregnant, i haven't really shopped a lot (meaning clothes).  so when i went to the mall and actually spent like a total of 200 bucks on clothes, my cc company freaked out and put a hold on my account!!! like i could spend 1000$ at target or costco and there wouldn't be an alert, but someone must have stole my cc because anything other than babyfood, mac n cheese, and tshirts w peppa pig on it seems suspicious.  HAHAHAH myyyyyyyy how my life has changed.
6.  i finally bought an essential oils diffuser.  i wanted to get into oils when i was pregnant so i can do all the amazing hippydippy stuff for zoe, but i only got so far as buying one vile and used it once, incorrectly.  anyway, so this diffuser!!! i don't know how effective it is on sleep or stress, but it makes the house smell like a spa and i ain't mad at that!
7.  im THINKING about going gluten free again.  but bagels are a regular part of my diet and i don't know if my body can stomach gluten substitute anything.....okkkk so i think i just decided its not going to work out.  bagels.         bagels.                                             bagels.
8.  so after years of having "brilliant ideas" or thinking of "inventions" if you will, my cousin and i are starting a small, like really small, business together!!  more details to come soon!!!
9.  a friend recently reminded me that i was so anti-hillary years ago.  i forgot all about that.  i actually called myself an "anti-feminist."  i don't really know what i meant by that.  i used to think that people needed to just stop complaining about life and just deal with things.  like, i used to say "ummmmm i don't need everything to be equal....i dont wanna get drafted into the army if there is a war!!"  and other shit like that.  since then, life happened.  i learned.  teaching and having a baby girl has changed so much of my perspectives on equality, equity, feminism, social justice, and countless other things i never knew i didn't know.  this is year 9 of teaching and year 1 of being a mom.  excited to learn and unlearn more things.
10.  the story about emily choi was a reminder that "everyday is a gift" or "tomorrow is not guaranteed to us" or "life is fragile" are not cliche, they're all so excruciatingly true.  like so many other people, jake and i were so broken over the passing of this precious child (whom we did not know).  to try to empathize with this family was lost on us, so we prayed for them and cried for them. thank you, choi family for sharing your story with us.  we will not forget emily.

photos (for some reason, i can't get them to transfer in high resolution) of zoe's dohl and life from the past 2 months

just us.  
my parents were like, ummm aren't you forgetting someone in your photo?????


i love how happy jake looks here

first bite of donut.  she didn't like it.  she will learn.
(i just realized i posted this photo before, but seeing it twice isn't hurtin anybody)


how we do things around here

acai bowl aftermath

sharing w mimi

hanging out (invading space) with darra

the look of pure satisfaction

we gave in and bought one!

best way to get dishes done

at a splash pad in cerritos


making more of a mess than eating


her face.

her dirty feet from walking around barefoot at a birthday party. 

dohl credits:
cake: sweetleemade
decorations: Yoonie Kim
photos: Marianne Andres
donut print: Jessica Park 
donuts: california donuts

Sunday, June 12, 2016

wait. what happened?

hello world!

zoe is 1 YEAR OLD.  what happened? how did we get here?

so much has happened since the last time i posted, but here are ten things:

1.  zoe can now, say several words.  her favorites are: dada, umma (mom in korean), mam-ma (food in korean), and dawa (darra).

2.  her hair.  its curly and fine.  a true combination of jake's and my hair.

3.  she is still fairly tall, head-large, feet-xlarge, eyes-hazel inside/grayish rim.

4.  zoe smiles w a scrunched up nose and it kills every    single    time.

5.  she finally got teeth at about 10 months!  she has four teeth and i think more are sprouting bc girl isnt sleeping.  teething is always the culprit, right?

6.  bc she is such an active baby, i was sure she was going to walk before her 1st bday.  she's been standing on her own for quite a while, but still not walking.

7.  ok. so jake and i wanted to "limit screen time" you know, bc research somewhere out there by some screen time expert dude said to do so.  mmm that went to shit pretty fast.  it might be that she watches k dramas w my mom while im at work, or it might also be that jake and i are on our phones a lot too, or it might be that im constantly shoving the phone in front of her to capture her EVERY move, but it happened, she loves the phone. oh well. she also loves books and animals.  she'll be ok.

8.  wrapping up my first year as a pumping/working mom has been pretty cool.  i thought i was going to stop nursing when i started work, but i figured id pump for a month to see how it went.  its been 6 months and tomorrow will mark my last day pumping at work.  i did it! i only got walked in on once. i would do it 100 times over again for her.  but cleaning the pumping parts?  NO just NO.  worst feeling at the end of the night is remembering you didn't wash your pump parts for the next day.  does anyone feel me?!!!

9.  we lost our dear uncle a few weeks ago.  i took zoe to her first funeral.  it saddens me to know that she never got to know him, but oh the stories she'll hear about him.  i know he's smiling now. we miss you, uncle.

10.  a family wedding is the best.  we celebrated a new chapter for our cousin devi and her husband hunter.  the wedding was perfect.  one of devi's big bros gave a speech that really moved me to tears. hoping that one day, zoe will have a sibling who can write a 4 page speech for her too.  a side note about this most perfect wedding:  i slipped and ate it really hard in front of everyone right before the ceremony started.  i got up really quickly after everyone gasped.  jake said he was just really glad i wore underwear bc i was spread eagle.  oops.

waiting for our baby seemed to take forever, but she's already one in a couple days.

prior to having zoe, i knew i would love her more than i can ever imagine.  i knew that some days would be hard.  i knew that other days would be really, really hard.  i knew i wasn't going to sleep much.  i knew that that our lives would change.

after having zoe, i learned that total exhaustion is a lesser degree of what (most, including us) new parents experience.  i learned that empathy, above all other emotional needs, is so, so important esp for a new mom.  i learned that motherhood is empowering.  i learned that, in the most honest way, everyday, every moment is a real gift.

[i wrote this post prior to the orlando shooting and, today, on zoe's actual birthday, i can't stress the above statement enough.  every moment is a gift and i will do everything in my power to show zoe that. much love to orlando.]

jake and i are starting a birthday tradition for zoe by recording a short message for her so that by the time she turns 18, she can have a collection of video messages from us, which we KNOW she will watch every day in her dorm room, crying hysterically because she misses us so much.

happy first birthday, zoezoe.

LOTS of photos

baby proofing done right

almost 6 months apart <3

at our fave breakfast spot

my mom sends me photos of zoe while im at work.  

my two other babies are in town!

sometimes we take weird selfies and send them to daddy
the curls~~~

zoe's deep obsession w dogs.  

bodega bay to get crab sandwiches

they see me rollin', hatin'...

some snapshots of zoe's dohl!  
zoe's auntie took photos of the whole thing, can't wait to share them.

donut themed
print by my cousin's cousin, Jess, who i call second cousin, even tho i know that's not right.

her first bite of donut glory

zoe's doljabi.  she chose money twice!  i ain't mad at that.

took zoe to the beach for her bday today.  

her face

i was there too. 

bday pool party for one.  thanks geemo and uncle j

all smiles.  :)))))