oh hi, still pregnant.

17, 18, 19/52

not the most flattering photos, but hi, im 39 weeks pregnant. 

jake's old t-shirts are my new uniform.

darra, wondering when her new bff is coming out. 

to my baby girl, 

in case i forget to tell you every single day that i know you, i want you to know this.  your daddy and i have waited for you for what seemed like an eternity, but it wasn't.  it was 2.5 years of wanting, disappointment, growth, and finally a peace that was so overwhelming, i knew that you were coming soon.  in fact, as soon as i felt that peace, you were already inside my womb.  however, it is not that, in which i want you to know.  i want you to know that before me or your daddy ever knew you, God had already blessed us with each other so that one day, one day very soon, we will be able to love you more than we can ever imagine.  and we already love you so much, baby girl. we really do.  

im 39 weeks now.  every night, i think, "tonight's the night!"  i can't wait to meet babykrew, like i want to meet her so bad, i've started to dream about her and the whole laboring process.  but in thinking about our baby, i'm even more thankful for jake and what we've shared together for the past, almost, eleven years.  i think we're ready though.  bags are packed and spicy ramen is on the menu for tonight.   

is tonight the night?  

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

in the mean time, some photos of babykrew's new digs. 

crib from ikea, sheets from land of nod (i caved), indigo wall hanging from japan, 

photo of darra (duh), sleepy lamb from hannah eemo, 

and my old rainbow bright doll my mom kept for me.

shelf with all of the books from my baby shower.

can't wait to read the notes and books to babykrew.

lego! no!

:)

a bed, in case my mom wants (is forced) to sleep over. heh heh

home stretch [marks]

37 weeks

babykrew's new ride. uppababy cruz

little snippet of our new house.

face, belly, ass: all so, so round

still waiting for them.

but i'm sure they're on their way.

stretch marks.

i heard that they are genetic and i know my mom has a bunch from pregnancy and i have a few from adolescent growth spurts and not-so-adolescent chilly cheese fries, grilled cheese every night in college type stretch marks too (technically, those were "growth spurts" too, horizontal growth spurts).  but so far, i haven't gotten any new ones from pregnancy.  my tummy is feeling tighter than ever and i heard that a lot of women get stretch marks when they're full term, which I AM (what?!!!!!!!!!!!).  if i end up not getting them then, YAS! and if i do, its OK.  :)


jake and i are pretty much settled into our new place.  the reno is completely done, the boxes are almost gone, and (some) art is up.  feels like home.  surprised at how quickly that feeling came, but its probably because we unpacked faster and settled in so that we can be ready for babykrew.  even darra feels at home.  she threw up on the rug, just as she always did.  -.-
SO much hardwood all around, but somehow, she (almost) always pukes on the rug.  she's still the best.


i'm 37 weeks! i feel ready and nervous, but mostly really excited to meet our little girl.  putting the nursery together and actually having all sorts of baby contraptions around the house feels really...right.

moving rules.

15/52, 16/52

36 weeks

mother's day brunch

banana buckwheat pancakes w bacon and hot peanut butter syrup. YAS.

we moved! (this post was meant for last monday...but life. new post coming soon!)

i mean, we decided that having this baby is not enough change for us, so we picked up and moved...5 miles away.  

after 1.5 weeks of reno (new floors, paint, adding a bedroom, can't believe it got done!!), we moved into our new home and jake and i are equal parts exhausted and elated.  we had a chance to go back to our other house to clean and pack up the last of our things and i totally cried saying goodbye to our first home.  

5 years ago, i would have NEVER thought we would settle in long beach, but here we are and we really love it.  long beach is a huge city w lots of different neighborhoods and up and coming restaurant so what im trying to say is...all of our friends should move here.  haaaa

our new neighborhood is closer to the water and walking distance to everything: trader joes, coffee, tacos, bagels, gym, sushi, fancy market (lazy acres, never heard of it until we moved here, but its JUST like whole foods1), and anything else you can think of.  there are a lot more young families in the neighborhood and we met one the other night and i wanted to ask for their phone number, but jake and i agreed that it was too soon and too creepy to ask on our first encounter.  but on our second encounter... :) 

more photos of the new place coming soon!

our last night in our old house. 

our new place!

a super sweet mother's day card from my student

THIS IS NOT OUR BABY...just to be clear

jake practicing w my cousin's newborn. he's a natural!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you, my love!

showered

14/52

that penmanship tho!

this past weekend was my baby shower that was hosted by my girlfriends (girlfriends are everything).  they knew that i wasn't really into shower games (mainly bc im really competitive and i don't want to WIN all the games at my own shower heeeeee), but we played 2 and they were amazing.  the first one was combining jake's and my faces together to create a potential image of babykrew.  this was both entertaining and really creepy.  the second game we played was called, "sex or labor."  10 faces were held up and guests had to determine if the facial expression was one of labor or one of sex.  i loved that my mom had the best time with this one.  my (non-english speaking) grandma kept asking my mom what kind of game it was and my mom just cracked up and told her she'd explain later.  i hope she did not.  actually, i hope she did.

!!!

how did i get to be 33 weeks already.

a year ago, actually, more like 37 weeks ago, i was lying in bed, devastated, yet not surprised by another failed month of conceiving a baby.  as i was driving to my baby shower, i unearthed some of those memories, which seem so distant now, but really aren't at all.  i haven't had a lot of hormonal crying-for-no-reason type episodes during my pregnancy (except while watching Parenthood.  that series alone deserves its own post), but my when i arrived at the shower, i was really overwhelmed and wanted to break down and cry, but i held it in for several reasons, one of which was the fact that i had 3 coats of mascara on and didn't want to look like a freak in all of the photos.  i failed to keep it bottled in the whole time though, i cried a little at the end and then i cried a lot more when i got home and read through all of the cards and letters to babykrew.  i want to properly say thank you to those who came to the shower and those who have been so supportive and kind to me (us) throughout this whole journey, but i don't think i can accurately describe my feelings of gratitude in words, song, or even interpretive dance.

jake and i (and babykrew, too!) are beyond blessed and we love you all so, so much.  

book themed. cake by sweetleemade

my granny and mama

the kims

the zeitlin (and one katz) clan

my family

33 weeks!

the cutest baby hat anyone ever did see

having too much fun

truffle butter and [lots of] other things

11/52, 12/52, 13/52

30 weeks.  jake has this shirt. so we haaaaad to buy one for babykrew

i LOVE, the song, truffle butter.  am i alone in this???  i think not.  i also love janis joplin, tlc, edward sharpe, mariah carey, jenny lewis, jay z, arcade fire, most of 90's hip hop, and the list goes on.  during middle and high school i was so busy being too cool for boy bands, i totally missed out!!!  now that im not cool anymore, well, im still a little cool, but thats besides the point...heeee...i LOVE pop music. like ryan seacrest, hello! he is so funny and ridiculous.  i really like NPR too, but Ryan's Roses is the best.

jake and i were talking about what kind of taste in music our kid will have.  he said, "she can have good taste or your taste."  rude.

in the movie, this is 40, leslie mann's character and her 2 daughters start getting crazy singing pop songs and paul rudd's character is like -.-  haaaaa  i could TOTALLY see that going down at our house. can't wait.

but truffle butter. yeahhhh


++++++++++++++++++++++


its been a while since i've written a post.

LOTS of moving parts in our lives right now.  we sold our house and bought another!  we love this house and am actually really sad to part with it, but we've found a new place to create new memories with our new addition.


+++++++++++++++++++++++


during spring break, jake and i had a mini babymoon in palm springs.  it was SO nice to just lay by the pool. all. day. long.  i picked up a cheesy paperback from rite aid and was completely content just laying around and FLOATING in the pool.  the pool is the best thing ever for pregnant women!  jake and i fought kids for noodles so i could get some tummy time.  he is the best.

its crazy to think that after these next few weeks, we're going to be a family of three (well, four bc darra).  after being together for more than 10 years now, i almost can't imagine someone else being a part of us.  as much as we've ached, longed for, and already love this child, i'm glad we get a few more weeks of just the two of us.

gittin HUGE. still 30 weeks. 

31 weeks

making time. 

my baby shoes that my parents kept. 

can't wait to see these on babykrew

32 weeks. wow. 

this is me, right now. 

babykrew is, as Luda would put it, throwin bows. 

braxton hicks contractions are in full effect. 

(c)ankles etc.

10/52

28 weeks. less than 10 weeks until im full term. wow.

darra, the guardcat.  she loves hanging out next to the baby. bffs already.

our cable box is on the fritz, so jake and i have been binge watching parenthood on netflix.  so much drama. so much goodness. its like friday night lights, wholesome, but not THAT unrealistic.  a lot of people know my late blooming obsession with FNL, so comparing parenthood to FNL is big for me.  it is.  im sure our impending parenthood has a lot to do w our fascination of this show, but its good writing and really good acting.  and i love this show so, so much. jake said i say that i LOVE things too much. but i do love this show.  

now,  im watching an episode of GIRLS, polar opposite of parenthood.  jake hates this show, but i like it a lot. :)

++++++++++++++++++

its getting hot in here.  95 degrees over the weekend has gotten my hands, feet, ankles, and anything else that can swell up REALLY swollen.  i resolved to take off my rings, which i never do and am constantly measuring the thickness of my (c)ankles.  jake looks at me and tells me that i look awesome and then reminds me that i have a BABY growing inside my body.  when i first got pregnant, i promised myself that i would never, ever complain about pregnancy symptoms bc we've been waiting for this baby for so long.  w my first bout of nausea, i would think it was cool that my body was responding to the baby (and it was!!!).  but i've started to feel a bit uncomfortable w my giant belly and now giant everything else. 

i need to keep reminding myself that this, all of this, is a gift. 

+++++++++++++++++++

in other baby news...babykrew kicks a lot. to a beat.  she's got rhythm.  she takes after me.  not.  haaaa

I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET HER.

semi-crunchy

10/52

27 weeks 

always needing to prop my feet up

took all my rings off, fingers turning into sausages

babykrew as active as ever :)

wow.  life's been amazingly busy so i took a 2 week hiatus from writing.  but im back with more riveting material. haaaaa.

++++++++++++++++++

at week 27, im only one week shy of my third trimester.  that's got me thinking a lot about actually having the baby as opposed to just (well, not JUST, but you know what i mean) being pregnant.  in my last post i mentioned that i want to learn more about essential oils, but i haven't gotten too deep into that...yet.  i got my first doTerra blend (serenity), but i haven't used it yet because i kind of don't know how!  i think im going to buy a diffuser so i  can just turn it on at night before bed.

another thing i've been looking into is hypnobaby.  i would LIKE to try to go drug-free during labor, but as weeks go by, im getting more and more scared of it.  but if i can just hypnotize myself....ok, i don't think it works like that, but im gonna look into it a bit more.  BEFORE i was pregnant, i was super into the idea of a drug-free birth because i felt like for my first and possibly my only child, i want to experience everything.   i still feel that way, but i don't really want to put that much pressure on myself or be disappointed if i end up getting an epidural.  obviously, my main and only concern is to delivery our baby girl safely.  jake's a little cautious about my new found (semi) crunchiness, but he is supportive nonetheless.  he may opt for the drugs when i go into labor.

anyone use hypnobaby or anything like that???

++++++++++++++++++++

as for krewcrew closet clean out, i've decided to create another Instagram account @krewcrew_closet, so ill be posting things periodically with all the details in the comments section.  if something strikes your fancy, leave your email address in the comments section or send me a private message through IG.

BRAND NEW, NEVER WORN via spiga loafers in a most AMAZING green color.

bought them in 2014, but never they never had their day (im gonna try not to do this in 2015).  

size 6.5  $50 

annnnnd the girls are BACK (oh and john and eunice too haha).  

these two taught me so much about love.  

i can't wait for babykrew to meet them.